Paint and food

There is no way I can paint without painting myself.  You see these pert little women on HGTV painting in their designer jeans and silver jewelry and I'm thinking, "No way".  Who are they kidding.  I have never painted anything without the signs of the product being on my arms or in my hair.  Sort of like eating.  I always wear home what I had for supper.  The price you pay when you're too big at the top to keep your top off the table.